One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
