Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
