I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
