What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
