I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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