I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize