Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
