I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
