Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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