Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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