Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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