hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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