i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize