I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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