Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
