Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
