We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize