tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
