Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize