you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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