so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
