sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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