He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
