But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
