You were right. It hurts to walk today.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
