She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
