When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
