Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize