youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize