Best friends brother. Beat that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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