yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
