What a fucking waste of an outfit
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
