The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize