Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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