I wish I could punch you in the face.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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