is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
