3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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