So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
