I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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