i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
