I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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