That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
