if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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