So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
