At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize