If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
