those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
