What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
