Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
