I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
