Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
