So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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