Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
