Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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