Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize