He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
