Dual....:-)
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
