I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
