so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
