I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
