if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
