I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize