I wish I could teleport
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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