apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
