I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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