I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
